Your mum used to run the family calendar in her head. Lately she's missed two birthdays, asked about the same dinner plans three times, and seemed flustered when the bank changed its online login. Each thing on its own seems small. Together, they're starting to worry you.
Early dementia is hard to spot because the first changes are subtle and easy to explain away. Tiredness, stress, "just getting older." This checklist is designed to help you notice patterns, keep track of what you're seeing, and know when it's time to talk to a doctor.
It isn't a diagnostic tool. Only a proper assessment can tell you what's going on. But writing things down makes that conversation with the doctor far more useful.
First, What Counts as a Warning Sign?
The World Health Organization describes dementia as a condition that affects memory, thinking and the ability to carry out daily activities. It gets worse over time, and although it's more common after 65, it is not a normal part of ageing.
The key word is change. Someone who has always been disorganised isn't showing a warning sign when they lose their keys. Someone who was always sharp with money and is now missing bills might be. Look for:
changes from how the person used to be
changes that affect everyday life
changes that are happening more often or getting worse
If you're unsure where the line sits, our guide to what's normal and what's not with memory loss walks through common examples.
The Checklist
Tick anything you've noticed more than once in recent months, and jot down an example and roughly when it happened.
Memory
[ ] Forgetting recent conversations or events, not just the details
[ ] Asking the same question or telling the same story in one day
[ ] Relying much more on notes or other people to remember things
[ ] Forgetting appointments and not remembering them later
What's usually normal: forgetting a name and remembering it later, or occasionally missing an appointment.
Planning and problem-solving
[ ] Trouble following a familiar recipe or a set of instructions
[ ] Difficulty keeping track of bills or money
[ ] Taking much longer to do things that used to be easy
[ ] Struggling to make decisions
What's usually normal: the occasional mistake with a bill.
Time and place
[ ] Losing track of the date, season or time of day
[ ] Getting lost or confused in a familiar place
[ ] Forgetting how they got somewhere
What's usually normal: briefly forgetting what day it is and working it out.
Language and conversation
[ ] Struggling to find everyday words, or using the wrong word
[ ] Losing the thread partway through a sentence
[ ] Finding group conversations hard to follow
What's usually normal: the occasional "tip of the tongue" moment.
Losing things
[ ] Putting things in unusual places, like keys in the fridge
[ ] Being unable to retrace steps to find something
[ ] Accusing others of taking things they've misplaced
What's usually normal: misplacing glasses and finding them by retracing your steps.
Judgement
[ ] Dressing inappropriately for the weather
[ ] Falling for scams or unusual sales calls
[ ] Unusual spending or giving away money
[ ] Less attention to personal hygiene or the home
Withdrawal
[ ] Losing interest in hobbies, friends or social events
[ ] Stepping back from work or responsibilities they used to enjoy
[ ] Seeming flat or disengaged much of the time
Mood and personality
[ ] New anxiety, suspicion or fearfulness
[ ] Irritability or getting upset more easily
[ ] Personality changes that friends and family notice
The WHO notes that changes in mood and behaviour sometimes appear before memory problems do.
Vision and space
[ ] Trouble judging distances, including on stairs or when parking
[ ] New difficulty reading or recognising objects
[ ] Bumping into things or misjudging steps
Different types of dementia can start differently. Alzheimer's often begins with memory. Lewy body dementia can start with changes in attention, visual perception and movement, and frontotemporal dementia may show up first as changes in behaviour or language. Our guide to the difference between dementia and Alzheimer's explains the main types.
The Alzheimer's Association's 10 early signs is another useful reference if you want to compare notes.
It's hard to remember what happened three weeks ago when a doctor asks. Elli Cares keeps a simple record: daily check-ins let someone note how they're feeling, family in the care circle can add observational notes, and you can download a GP report to take into the appointment. It doesn't diagnose anything, but it helps the conversation start with what's actually been happening.
Not Every Change Is Dementia
Many things can cause memory and thinking problems, and some are very treatable. A doctor will usually want to rule out things like:
infections, including urinary tract infections
side effects or interactions from medications
depression or anxiety
thyroid problems or vitamin deficiencies
poor sleep
hearing or vision loss
One important exception: sudden confusion that appears over hours or days is not a typical early sign of dementia. It can be delirium, which needs urgent medical attention. Our guide to sudden confusion in seniors explains what to do.
When to See a Doctor
Book an appointment if you've ticked several items, if changes are affecting daily life, or if they seem to be getting worse. Earlier is better. An early assessment can:
find and treat other causes
give a clearer diagnosis and access to treatments that may be suitable at the early stage
allow the person to plan legal and financial matters while they can lead the decisions
connect the family with support sooner
Take your checklist and examples with you. If you're worried about how to raise it, our guide to recognising and addressing early signs in a loved one has tips for that conversation. And our step-by-step guide to memory assessments explains what happens next.
Tips for Using This Checklist Kindly
Keep it private. It's a tool for you and the doctor, not something to wave in front of your parent.
Note context. Was your dad unwell that week? Grieving? Short on sleep?
Involve the person when you can. Many people have noticed changes themselves and feel relieved to talk about them.
Revisit it. A pattern over months tells you more than a single bad week.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the first signs of dementia?
Common early signs include forgetting recent events, repeating questions, trouble with planning or money, getting confused about time or place, word-finding difficulties, and changes in mood or behaviour.
How do I know if it's dementia or normal ageing?
Normal ageing involves occasional lapses that don't disrupt daily life. Dementia involves changes that are more frequent, get worse over time and affect everyday activities.
Can early signs of dementia come and go?
Some variation from day to day is common, and some types of dementia cause noticeable fluctuations. Sudden confusion that appears over hours or days needs urgent medical attention.
Who should I see if I'm worried about dementia?
Start with the family doctor, who can check for other causes and refer to a specialist or memory clinic if needed.
Noticing Is the First Step
Paying attention isn't jumping to conclusions. It's how families get answers, and support, sooner. To see how Elli helps families keep track of everyday wellbeing, visit our Seniors and Families page.
