If you're caring for someone with dementia, you've probably heard it before: "Make sure you look after yourself." It's good advice. It's also one of the hardest things to actually do when your days are full of appointments, medications, phone calls and worry.
Self-care for caregivers isn't about bubble baths or weekends away you don't have time for. It's about small, realistic steps that protect your health so you can keep going, and about accepting help before you reach breaking point.
This guide covers why caregiver health matters, practical ways to look after yourself, and where to find support, including respite care.
Why your health matters too
Caregiving takes a real toll. The AARP and National Alliance for Caregiving report Caregiving in the US 2025 found that nearly one in five caregivers report fair or poor health because of their caregiving responsibilities.
Dementia caregiving can be especially demanding. The Alzheimer's Association's 2026 Facts and Figures report notes that more than 12 million unpaid caregivers provided around 19.6 billion hours of care to people living with dementia in 2025. It also highlights that caregivers face a higher risk of emotional distress and poorer mental and physical health.
Looking after yourself isn't selfish. If you become ill or exhausted, the person you care for loses their most important source of support. Protecting your own health is part of good care.
Start with the basics
When time and energy are short, the basics are often the first things to slip. Small steps here make a big difference.
Sleep. Protect your sleep where you can. If night-time waking is a problem for the person you care for, talk to their doctor about it, and ask family to cover a night now and then.
Eat regular meals. Keep simple, healthy snacks on hand for busy days.
Move a little. A 10-minute walk can lift your mood and clear your head. It doesn't need to be a full workout.
Keep your own appointments. It's easy to put off your own check-ups. Book them, and keep them.
Notice stress early. Tiredness, irritability, trouble sleeping and withdrawing from friends are all warning signs.
Find moments for yourself
You may not have hours to spare, but small breaks add up.
Take 10 minutes a day that are just yours. Read, listen to music, sit in the garden or call a friend.
Keep one thing you enjoy. Whether it's a class, a walk with a friend or a hobby, try to protect it.
Try a calming practice. Breathing exercises, prayer, meditation or simply a quiet cup of tea can help reset a stressful day.
Set healthy boundaries
Boundaries protect both you and your relationship with the person you care for.
Be honest about your limits. You can't do everything, and that's okay.
Say no to things that aren't essential. Save your energy for what matters most.
Share the load. Ask family members to take on specific tasks. "Can you take Dad to his Tuesday appointment?" is easier to say yes to than "Can you help more?"
Talk to your employer. Many workplaces have flexible-work or leave policies. Our article on the caregiver crisis covers juggling work and caregiving in more detail.
Build your support network
You don't have to do this alone, and you shouldn't have to.
Support groups. Talking to other caregivers who understand can be a huge relief. The Alzheimer's Association runs in-person and online groups.
Counselling. A counsellor or therapist can help you work through stress, grief and difficult feelings. Grief often starts long before a death, as the person you love changes.
Trusted friends. Tell a few people what's really going on. It's easier for people to help when they know.
A helpline. In the US, the Alzheimer's Association 24/7 Helpline (800-272-3900) offers free, confidential information and support at any hour.
Our article on how caregivers can find emotional support has more ideas.
Take a real break with respite care
Respite care gives you a proper break while someone else looks after the person you care for. It can be a few hours, a day, or a short stay.
Options include:
In-home respite. A trained carer comes to the home.
Adult day programmes. The person you care for spends the day at a centre with activities, company and supervision.
Short-term residential stays. A few days or weeks in a care facility.
In the US, Medicare's GUIDE Model may help with the cost. Under GUIDE, respite services can be paid up to $2,500 per person each year for eligible families. According to UCLA Health's GUIDE program, respite is available to enrolled patients with moderate to high complexity dementia who have a caregiver, and can be used for in-home care or adult day services. Our guide to the Medicare GUIDE program explains who qualifies and how to find a participating provider.
The Eldercare Locator (800-677-1116) can also help you find respite and other local services.
Be kind to yourself
Caregiving brings a mix of emotions: love, frustration, guilt, sadness and sometimes relief. All of them are normal.
Let go of perfect. You will have bad days. That doesn't make you a bad caregiver.
Notice what you're doing well. Write down one thing each day that went okay.
Forgive yourself. Everyone loses patience sometimes.
Look for small moments of joy. A shared laugh, a favourite song or a good memory still matter.
Our article on 7 real-life lessons from caring for a loved one with dementia shares what other caregivers have learned.
Much caregiver stress comes from being the one person who holds all the information. Elli Cares helps share the load. Medication, appointment and daily reminders support the person you care for, and a shared care circle lets family members see how the day is going, send messages and add their own notes. A downloadable report makes appointments easier too. See how Elli supports seniors and families.
Know when to get help
Sometimes stress goes beyond what self-care can fix. Talk to your doctor if you notice:
feeling low, hopeless or anxious most days
trouble sleeping for weeks at a time
feeling angry or resentful much of the time
getting sick more often
using alcohol or other substances to cope
If you ever feel like you can't go on, reach out for help straight away. In the US, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at any time. Our guide to healthy ways to overcome caregiver burnout has more on recognising and managing burnout.
You matter too
Caring for someone you love is one of the most meaningful things a person can do. It's also hard, and you deserve support. Start with one small change this week, whether that's a short walk, a phone call to a friend, or finding out about respite care near you.
Looking after yourself is part of looking after them.
