Your phone buzzes during the quarterly review. It's Mum's neighbour: she's locked herself out again and seems confused. You step outside, make three calls, arrange for your brother to go over, and walk back into the meeting trying to look like nothing happened.
If you're working and caring for someone, you're far from alone. The Caregiving in the US 2025 report from AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving found that 63 million Americans are family caregivers, and 70 percent of working-age caregivers are in the workforce. Many are also raising children: the report found 29 percent are part of the "sandwich generation."
This guide covers practical ways to manage both roles: what to say to your employer, what leave you may be entitled to, how to share the load, and how to protect your own health. If you're already feeling at breaking point, our guide to recovering from caregiver burnout may be the place to start.
Know Where the Pressure Points Are
Working caregivers often describe the same pinch points:
appointments during work hours
unpredictable crises that pull you away at short notice
phone calls and admin that eat into the workday
tiredness and worry that make it hard to concentrate
guilt at work for being distracted, and guilt at home for not being there
According to the Center to Advance Palliative Care's summary of the report, half of working caregivers say caregiving has affected their work, and nearly half report at least one negative financial impact, such as using savings or taking on debt.
Knowing which of these hits you hardest helps you decide what to change first.
Talk to Your Employer
It can feel risky, but being open with your manager or HR usually works better than trying to hide it. Many employers offer more support than people realise, and it's easier to agree flexibility before a crisis than during one.
Before the conversation:
Check your employee handbook for leave, flexible work and employee assistance programs.
Think about what would genuinely help: a later start once a week, working from home on appointment days, compressed hours, or a plan for emergencies.
Consider how your work will be covered, so you're offering a solution as well as a request.
In the conversation:
Be clear and factual. You don't need to share every detail.
Focus on what you need and how you'll keep your work on track.
Agree how you'll communicate if an emergency comes up.
Ask about an employee assistance program, which may offer counselling or eldercare referral services.
Understand Your Leave Rights
In the US, the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) allows eligible employees of covered employers to take up to 12 workweeks of unpaid, job-protected leave in a 12-month period to care for a spouse, child or parent with a serious health condition. Group health coverage continues during the leave.
A few things worth knowing:
Eligibility depends on your employer's size and how long and how much you've worked there. The Department of Labor's FMLA resources explain the criteria.
You don't have to take it all at once. The Department of Labor's fact sheet on serious health conditions notes that leave can be taken all at once or in shorter blocks, which can suit regular appointments.
Parents-in-law aren't covered under federal FMLA, though some employers or states may offer more.
Some states offer paid family leave or broader protections. Check your state's rules.
Outside the US, rights vary widely. Check with your employer and local government for carer's leave and flexible working rights.
Organise the Caregiving Side
The more predictable caregiving is, the easier it is to fit around work.
Batch appointments. Try to schedule medical appointments together, or at the start or end of the day.
Use telehealth where appropriate to save travel time.
Keep key information in one place. Medication lists, doctors' details, insurance information and emergency contacts. Our guide to a just-in-case emergency plan for seniors has a checklist.
Plan for emergencies. Who can go if something happens while you're at work? A sibling, neighbour or friend on a rota means you're not always the one who drops everything.
Look into day programs or in-home help. Adult day programs can provide care during working hours. The Eldercare Locator can connect you with local services.
When you're at work, you can't be at your parent's side, but you can still stay in the loop. Elli Cares sends your parent reminders for medications, appointments and daily tasks, including short video reminders in your own voice. You and your siblings can check the activity log and send messages from anywhere, so you know how the day is going without calling during every meeting.
Share the Load
Working caregivers who try to do everything alone burn out fast. Be specific about what you need from others.
Siblings and family: divide tasks by strength and availability, not just proximity. Our guide to sharing care with siblings walks through it.
Long-distance family can handle admin, calls and online tasks. See our guide to long-distance caregiving.
Paid help for specific tasks, like cleaning, meals or a regular carer visit, can free up hours.
Money matters may need a trusted person or professional. Our guide to getting help with money matters can help.
If the person you care for has dementia and traditional Medicare, it's worth asking whether a GUIDE program operates near you. GUIDE programs offer care coordination, caregiver support and, for eligible people, respite.
Protect Your Own Health
Working and caregiving can leave little time for yourself. A few things make a difference:
Protect sleep as much as possible.
Take your breaks at work, even short ones.
Keep one thing that's yours: exercise, a hobby, time with friends.
Get support. A support group, counsellor or employee assistance program can help. See our guide to caregiver support groups.
Watch for warning signs like constant exhaustion, irritability or feeling hopeless, and talk to your doctor if they appear.
If Something Has to Give
Sometimes, despite everything, the combination becomes unsustainable. Before making a big decision like reducing hours or leaving work, think through the long-term effects on income, retirement savings and health insurance. Talk to your employer about options first, and consider getting financial advice. Many caregivers find that more support at home is a better answer than giving up work entirely.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I take time off work to care for a parent?
In the US, eligible employees can take up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected FMLA leave in a 12-month period to care for a parent with a serious health condition. Some states and employers offer more, including paid leave.
Should I tell my employer I'm a caregiver?
In most cases it helps. Being open makes it easier to agree flexibility and plan for emergencies. You don't need to share every detail.
How do working caregivers avoid burnout?
By sharing tasks with family, using paid help and day programs where possible, agreeing flexibility at work, and protecting time for sleep, health and support.
Can FMLA leave be taken in short blocks?
Yes. The Department of Labor notes FMLA leave for a family member's serious health condition can be taken all at once or in shorter blocks when needed.
You're Doing Two Big Jobs
Balancing work and caregiving is hard because both matter. With the right conversations, support and tools, it can be more sustainable. To see how Elli helps working families stay connected, visit our Seniors and Families page.
